Space Dressage

Someone sent me the link to this company, O-M-E-G-A, who makes saddles with "anatomic" trees. They may be high tech and well made, but they look like something from the space program. Or a comic book. Either way, they are strange looking things and they come in pretty much any color of the rainbow.

Ah, yes. Traditional and formal black and white. Not so bad. A real bear to keep clean though.

Red and black, OK if you are goth. Or in the SCA and your colors are red and black. Awe Hail Gleann Abhann baby!

Ostrich, mmkay. Showing off a bit are we?

Teal, hmmmm. Maybe if you were an endurance rider.

Bright freaking royal blue, see comment above.

Ok, really people? I thought we American rednecks were the only ones making camo-colored saddles. For shame.

Awful Aqua

Yech, talk about too much. If it weren't for the big flower cutouts on this one it might be more tolerable. As if the background painting of the carving wasn't enough. I could also do without the black rolled edge on the cantle and the bling accessories. Same seller at the zebra catastrophe from yesterday.

Trooper B

B for BLUE. I was so stunned when I saw this in an email from a reader that I actually sat with my mouth hanging open for a few seconds. This is amazingly ugly, and probably amazingly cheaply made too. I still sit and stare thinking, "OMG, really?"

Bad Blue

Nice. Blue ghetto-flauge. Not quite as offensive as the pink version, but pretty obnoxious. The free blanket it comes with doesn't even match.

Black and Blue

Yes, another cheap, painted, cardboard leather piece of crap that no horse should ever have to suffer. And look, it even comes with matching accessories. All it needs now is a blue saddle blanket. At least the stirrups are on correctly. That dee ring in the front girth rigging looks rather insubstantial to me.

...????...

I am truly speechless. I could not come up with a good title for this one, zip, nada. This was sent by a reader who found it for sale on a German website. Apparently poor taste transcends all borders.

Got The Blues

Just, wow. When I saw this I just cringed, and stared, and cringed, and stared. It's like a train wreck, I just cant stop looking at it, and being horrified.

WINNERS!!

Wow guys, those were some awesome captions! You have no idea how difficult it was to choose! I have awarded 1st-3rd places. Here they are in order...

1st From Psychotic Raccoon

"For sale: 9hh German import, excellent conformation, kid-safe, great on trails. Rover is an easy keeper, doesn't need shoes, and has a very smooth walk/jog/lope. $10,000 with saddle included."

2nd From Aylisha

"If I see any screaming little girls ready to braid pink bows into my hair, I swear I will run away and join a wolf pack"

3rd From Barrelsaddle

Once again Trigger didn't show up for work on the movie set and Rin-Tin-Tin had to fill in....

So, if you are one of these three folks, drop me an email with your mailing address and I will send you a little something as a prize!

If you guys want to make this a regular thing, we can. I can do one like, once a month or something. Just let me know in the comments!

Here is your Tacky Tack for today as well...

The "Matching" Saddle

Today I have for you the "matching" saddle for yesterday's pink tragedy. This one appears to be a grayish blue. Why? I have no idea. Again, I sincerely hope this is some made in India contraption and it has absolutely no ties to actual Australia. It is admittedly less offensive than its pink mate, but still is disturbing to my rather conservative tastes.



What ever happened to a plain brown or black saddle? Why is it that we must manufacture saddles in such horrendous colors?

Terrifying Turquoise

Here is yet another version of that cheap, piece of junk, comes in a variety of hideous colors, saddle. This one is a lovely shade of turquoise. Of all the various incarnations, this one, sadly, is the least offensive to me. I guess it has to do with it being a "cool" color. Blues and other cool colors don't "harsh my mellow" nearly as badly as "warm" colors, like the yellow one, do. Still, it does not negate the fact that it is Tacky as all get out, just slightly less painful Tacky. You can just see the level of craptastic craftsmanship and the lack of quality leather. I would be afraid to try to use any of these saddles for fear of a catastrophic failure and nasty wreck. Not that my horse would let me near her with it in the first place.

Monday Blues

Monday, I hate Monday. But I don't hate it as much as THIS...

(Can we not match shades of colors folks?)

Or this...

(Ooh, and it has GENUINE ostrich trim.)

Or, last but certianally not least (putrid)...

GAH! Oh, my. Erm, nice, ummm, silver, yeah.

Holy shit, what are people THINKING!?

Terrible Teal

Today's Tack is yet another of those obnoxious saddles with the cut-outs and colored "ostrich" leather underneath. It comes with a matching bridle and breastcollar. Oddly enough, it looks to be relatively well made. It seems that there is no end to the supply of tacky saddles out there.

Bad Jeans

These saddles were brought to my attention by a reader. They are perhaps one of the strangest concepts in "synthetic" saddles I have seen yet. They are covered in denim, not only that, they have artistically (snort) placed wear and tear in the denim. What I want to know is why? I can kind of understand covering a saddle in denim. Hey, it's sturdy, comfortable, easy to clean and light. But why the rips? And in places where they would cause discomfort for the rider. They also possibly create weak spots where the likelihood of developing a REAL tear is higher. What if you get those little frayed edges caught on something?

Here we have one in a traditional "blue jeans" color with white (God why?) accents. The white would be beige in minutes around my house.







Here is a look for those going for a more "business casual" appearance. The same saddle shown above, but in a nice light/dark khaki color scheme. Again, without the rips, wouldn't look too bad.

Skipper's Saddle

Well, we had the Barbie saddle, and since we don't want to leave anyone out, here is Skipper's saddle. It even has little blue crystals on it and a matching headstall and breastcollar.

I've Got the Blues

Today, readers, I have the blues. I have found more tacky tack for your amazement. This time it is BLUE. To show you that I am not TOTALLY against colored tack (heck I even like some I have seen) I present a saddle, that assuming it is of decent quality, I would not turn my nose up at...

If I were into gaming, and I had a horse that looked good in blue, I would use this. It is not overdone. The blue accents are restricted to the seat, insides of the stirrups, and corners of the fenders. The accessories are also blue. This does not look bad.

Here is another example of a not-so-horrible one...

I admit that I could do without the solid blue stirrups, replace them with some matching natural leather ones and this would be a pretty nice looking rig.

This however..

Ugh, I think I may be ill. Not only can you tell that it is a cheaply made synthetic piece of junk, (now I am NOT badmouthing synthetic saddles, I own 2) but the color scheme is atrocious. The blue nylon accessories are not even the same shade of blue as the saddle. Oh, and dig that "buckstitching". If the saddle were black and blue or black and green, it would be tolerable. My horse would hide her prissy little head in shame if I put this monstrosity on her.