Unsafe and Unridable Abomination

Click the pic to go to Lelia's sidesaddle blog where she has a truly Tacky side saddle (I use this term loosely) posted with commentary. It is a prime example of what NOT to buy. Craptackistani make, completely WRONG, unridable, uncomfortable, and unsafe. NEVER NEVER NEVER buy a side saddle from Craptackistan folks. EVER. With the exception of the Elan sold by Hundred Oaks, which is a good saddle, they are all CRAP.

Oil Lamps? Boats? What the heck?

Besides being just plain ugly, I cannot for the life of me figure out that the little cutouts are supposed to be. Combine that with the baby-poo greenish yellow and black color scheme, and it is altogether a most unappealing picture. It looks great with the red English style saddle pad too.

Patchy

Oh, my, a patchwork seat of tackiness. I see zebra, pink, green, leopard (I think) and black. I want to know who came up with this gem, were they just trying to use up the leftover pieces?

Sorry for the hiatus, with the holidays, then being ill, then my coworker being ill, and last week being my vacation (cruise to the Bahamas) I didn't have time to think, much less find tacky tack to blog about!

Just Plain Ugly

Really not much else to say about this. It is just plain ugly.

Plaid Overload

Too. Much. Plaid.

This makes my eyes cross and threatens to give me a headache. And then, the saddle blanket to top it off. Ouch.

Floral

Well, it's, um...different. Looks like the seat was made from an old set of drapes from grandma's house. I have no idea where you would use this, except for schooling or trails. It is pretty fugly.

Space Dressage

Someone sent me the link to this company, O-M-E-G-A, who makes saddles with "anatomic" trees. They may be high tech and well made, but they look like something from the space program. Or a comic book. Either way, they are strange looking things and they come in pretty much any color of the rainbow.

Ah, yes. Traditional and formal black and white. Not so bad. A real bear to keep clean though.

Red and black, OK if you are goth. Or in the SCA and your colors are red and black. Awe Hail Gleann Abhann baby!

Ostrich, mmkay. Showing off a bit are we?

Teal, hmmmm. Maybe if you were an endurance rider.

Bright freaking royal blue, see comment above.

Ok, really people? I thought we American rednecks were the only ones making camo-colored saddles. For shame.

Treeless Tacky

Treeless and tacky, looks really well made too. I would be scared to death to actually try to USE this on a horse. It looks like it would just fall the hell apart at any moment.

Barbie Strikes Again

I swear, one of the Barbie horses I had as a kid had a saddle blanket just like this. Then again, back then, these were my two favorite colors, together. What was I thinking?

I Am Speechless

I like leopard print, but this left me speechless. I usually don't pick on native costumes on this site as I don't classify that at Tacky Tack. The reasoning is that just because it looks weird to us, if it is a country's properly executed, correct, native tack, then it is perfectly acceptable in that context. This however, is not. Egyptian dancing horse tack is traditionally solid colored with silver accents, usually black. This is an abomination in any country. It might look cool if only the seat of the saddle were leopard print, I know that in period, leopard skins were often used as accent pieces on native tack. This is just overdoing it folks.

Whiteout

Yep, it's a white saddle. With a purple seat. Looks like it was painted with white paint, and the purple seat makes it look kind lavender in this light. How long before the paint starts to wear off on your clothes? And can you imagine trying to keep this CLEAN? You couldn't oil it, it wouldn't soak in, and I bet the paint flakes off at the drop of a hat. Really people? Why on earth do you keep producing this crap? Are that many people actually buying it?

Jailbait

Wow, the seller lists this as a "Zebra Print" saddle. Um, not quite. It is actually just an ugly black and white striped thing that looks like an old timey prison uniform or a referee's shirt. I guess if you were the ref at a polo match or something, but then it would need to be a polo saddle. Other than that, I really can see no point in this at all other than to be hideous.

Rainbow

Oh, my, really? Why do people feel the need to create things like this? It looks like a My Little Pony saddle. I can only speculate that the color patches in front of the saddle are other available color choices in case you want to make it even more obnoxious.

Fake Snake

The tackiness knows no bounds. A reader sent me this saddle with its super tacky fake snakeskin seat. I have seen ostrich, stingray, hair on hide, crocodile, woven wool, suede, and smooth leather, but this is the first fake snake seat I have seen, and in red too. With heart cutouts. Cause everyone knows heart shapes and snakeskin are a great compliment to one another.

Floral Fiasco

This thing looks like a freaking easter egg. Hideous, truly hideous. I can't stand the painted flowers, it makes it look cheap and this is NOT a cheap saddle. It sold new for like, $2000.

CAUTION

Please put on protective eyewear, this thing is BRIGHT. I have no idea what company manufactured this thing or why, but OMG it is scary. It was on an ebay auction, and actually had bids. Thanks to the reader who sent me this. I appreciate it (I think).

Like a train wreck...

I just can't stop staring. Fascinated and horrified all at the same time. They are very well made though, I will say that. But, oh my, they are colorful.

Spidey Sense

"Spider - Saddle, Spider - Saddle..." Eeeek! Better make sure the person who you buy this for is not an arachnaphobe. It's different, I'll give it that.

Wow...

Sometimes there just are no words...



Well, maybe there are SOME words, like; pink, fluffy, maribou, rhinestones, and of course, at the bottom, zebra. And what is even scarier than the tack (if that is possible) is probably the amount of money these sell for. Can you imagine trying to clean horse sweat out of that fluffy pink monstrosity at he top?

A Veritable Smorgasbord of Tacky

I was browsing my issue of Equus magazine and saw an article featuring a saddle by Alamo saddlery. I was amazed and shocked by the sheer tackiness, so I went online to see if there was more. There was. Unfortunately, the saddle featured in the article was nowhere to be found, but I did find much, much more. Here is a small preview...

Now, if you dare, don your eye protection and click this link to their catalog.