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Friday, November 20, 2009

A bit of humor in light of my current situation...

Good Things About Husbands:

Husbands are less expensive to shoe. (Unless your horse is one of those lucky ones with hooves like rocks.)

Feeding a husband doesn't require anything that even mildly compares with the hassle of putting up hay. (Though they are a great deal more picky.)

A lame husband can still work. (In theory, though they will try to make you think they are DYING)

A husband with a belly-ache doesn't have to be walked. (But he will whine incessantly.)

Husbands don't try to scratch their heads on your back. (No, just other things.)

They're better able to understand puns. (Most of the time.)

If they're playing hard to catch you *may* be able to run them down on foot. (No, because they can run faster scared than you can mad.)

They know their name. (Though they have selective hearing.)

They pay their own bills. (Actually, no they don't.)

They apologize when they step on your toes. (Most of the time.)

They seldom refuse to get in the vehicle. (Wellllll, depends on if they know you are going to the mall or not.)

They don't panic, yelling and running all through the house when you leave them alone. (unless you left the kids too)

For a nominal fee you can hire someone else to clip them. (Unless they have a deep fear of the clippers.)

Men rarely pee in the middle of the bed day in and day out. (True, but they sometimes have issues aiming at the toilet.)

Men don't usually trample their dinner into their beds, or eat the bedding. (No, but they do get crumbs everywhere.)

You don't have to bolt the door every time you leave them for a few minutes
to stop them running back to their friends. (Also depends on just WHAT their friends are doing.)

The Horse's Advantage:

If they don't work out you can sell them.

They don't come with in-laws.

If they don't behave you can castrate them.

You don't have to worry about your children looking like them.

You never have to iron their saddle pads.

If you get too fat for one you can shop for a bigger one.

They smell good when they sweat.

You can repair their "clothes" with duct tape.

It's possible to keep them from "jumping the fence".

You can force them to stay in good physical condition...with a whip if necessary.

They don't want their turn at the computer.

They turn white with age, but not bald.

They learn to accept restraint.

They don't care what you look like, as long as you have a carrot.

Your horse will not think a new pair of shoes every month is excessive

Your horse will be glad of the company if you go shopping for another one, and your friends will approve of you keeping more than one, as this is more natural.

You know, I think I may stick to my horse!


  1. In view of your current situation; I think I would stick with the horse, too.

  2. I actually have a little book that I got off of someone on a horse forum for $1 since I was getting a few other things and it's called, "Dump Him, Marry the Horse". :)

  3. I like my horse much better than I like most people.

  4. My horses listen better than most men. They also are so happy when you feed them the same thing everyday.

  5. hehe, you totally need that tshirt that says "Got My Horse, Got My Dog, Don't Need No Cowboy"

    Thanks for the smile with this post!!

  6. I love the one, "Horses smell good when they sweat." Oh so true!

    Horses are WAY better than men. They're also more loyal... and when they "argue" with you, it's usually nothing a little training can't fix! I don't know about you, but in my experience you can't train men to see everything your way!

  7. Never posted before, but I can relate having recently had the rug pulled out from under me. Am actually trying to get rid of the hubby, after his recent behavior is costing me at least most of my horses. Unforgivable!

    Anyway, my favorite all time pun is: "Got a horse for my trade I ever made!". :)

  8. There's a reason my horse is named Boyfriend!


    This is great.

    I know someone who's working on a book called "Horses & Divorces."